The Book of Mormon - Making Things Up Again Lyrics

Original Broadway Production (2011)
The Book of Mormon: the Musical
- Making Things Up Again Lyrics


ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
"I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS,
and everything... but there is an answer in Christ."

NABULUNGI:
You see?  This book CAN help us!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
I just told a lie.
No, wait, I didn't LIE...
I just used my imagination...
And it worked!

CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER:
You're making things up again, Arnold

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
But it worked, dad!

CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER:
You're stretching the truth again,
And you know it-

JOSEPH SMITH:
Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold.

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Joseph Smith...?

SMITH AND FATHER:
Because a lie is a lie.

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
It's not a lie!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:
You're making things up again, Arnold!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Oh, conscience!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:
You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold.
When you fib, there's a price.

MATTUMBO:
Ahh, this it bullshit!
The story I'VE been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin!
I'm gonna go and rape a baby!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
What?!  Oh my-NO!  You can't do that!!!  NO!

MATTUMBO:
Why not?!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will!

MATTUMBO:
Says who?!
Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?!
Nowhere.

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Uh, behold!  The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith:
"You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!"
LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord?  Huh?  Why not?"
And the Lord said "If you lay with an infant, you shall....
Burn in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!"

MATTUMBO:
...really?

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Uh-uh... Uh-uh!  "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith.
I shall give unto you... a FROG!  And thus,
Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!

UGANDANS:
Ohhhhh!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD:
You're making things up again, Arnold.
You're recklessly warping
The words of Jesus!

HOBBITS:
You can't say what you want, Arnold!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Come on, Hobbits!

ALL:
You're digging yourself a deep hole!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
I'm making things up again...kind of.
But this time, it's helping
A dozen people!
It's nothing so bad, because this time,
I'm not committing a sin,
Just by making things up again, right?!

ALL:
NO!

NABULUNGI:
Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
What?  What is it?

NABULUGI:
Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's clitoris!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Huh?!

GOTSWANA:
This is all very interesting,
But women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against God's will!

GOTSWANA:
How do you know?!  Christ never said NOTHIN' 'bout no clitoris!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
...YES!  YES HE DID!
In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's...clitoris.
But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn 'em into FROGS!

GOTSWANA:
Frogs?

ASMERET:
You mean like the frogs that got fucked by Joseph Smith?!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Right!  Right!  Like THOSE frogs!
For a clitoris is holy amongst ALL things, said he!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS:
You're making things up again, Arnold.

UGANDANS:
We're learning the truth!

CHORUS:
You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!

UGANDANS:
The truth about God!

CHORUS:
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold.
When you fib, there's a price!

UGANDANS:
We're going to paradise!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Who would have thought
I had this magic touch?
Who'd've believe I could
Man up this much?
I'm talking, their listening,
My stories are glistening
I'm gonna save them all
With this stuff!

UGANDANS:
Ooooh- La

CHORUS:
You're making things up again, Arnold!

UGANDANS:
Elder Cunningham!

CHORUS:
You're making things up again, Arnold!

UGANDANS:
Holy prophet man!

CHORUS:
You're making things up again, Arnold!

UGANDANS:
Our savior!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
You're making things up again...

YODA:
Hmmm, up again making things you are-

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
...I know...

[Thanks to Maddie Cook for lyrics]
[Thanks to Adam Warren for corrections]

The Book of Mormon the musical Making Things Up Again Lyrics


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