Broadway production 2015
It Shoulda Been You the Musical - Albert's Turn Lyrics
"Albert's Turn" is a song from the musical It Shoulda Been You performed by Edward Hibbert (Albert) and Company.
All weddings have their problems, Jenny
Even couples who elope
But all of them are solvable so please don't give up hope
You'll find that I'm invincible, impervious to shock
[What are you, magic?]
No my sweet I've been around the block!
I am a nuptial Houdini
Conjuring in-laws and panini
I've tricks and fancy slights of hand galore!
Divining like a crystal ball
Predicting problems big and small
But that's because I've seen it all before!
Dear Walt stepped on the wedding cake
[And there's still some in my shoe!]
[My god is there a backup?]
No of course not, there are two!
Aunt Sheila started drinking
[She'll chase anything in pants]
I found an eager busboy, he's quite skillful, he's from France
[He is a nuptial Houdini]
Fulfilling wishes like a genie
Before the the game is played I know the score
(He knows the score)
But let me make it very clear
It's not that I'm some mystic seer
It's simply that I've seen it dear before
The bride found her husband in bed with a stripper
The groom got his naughty bits caught in his zipper
The ring bearing dog that got drunk on campari
The rhino who ruined a wedding safari
The groom so hungover the kiss made him throw up
That winter-spring romance when spring didn't show up
The bride so distraught that she needed reminding
A wedding day pre-nup's not legally binding
[Is that true?]
In New York State it is
[He's a pre-nuptial Houdini!]
She's got it!
[He makes my problems teeny weeny]
I'm Martha Stewart crossed with Dumbledore!
I live to serve so bring it on
(Bring it on)
I'm here from dawn till dusk till dawn!
(Dusk till dawn)
[Mothers who come on to strong, in-laws who don't get a long, nothing shocks him anymore]
In fact my life's a crashing bore!
[Seen it, done it, done it, seen it all before]
Oh yes I've seen it all before
[Thanks to Abby for lyrics]
[Thanks to Ashley for corrections]
Read more: It Shoulda Been You the Musical Lyrics
Edward Hibbert Albert's Turn Lyrics from It Shoulda Been You the musical
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