... But I Don't Want To Talk About Her Lyrics

2006 Off-Broadway
I Love You Because the Musical - ... But I Don't Want To Talk About Her Lyrics


AUSTEN
I write poetry
Romance, usually
I’m very romantic
(laughs)
Wait, I’m tough too
A romantic, tough guy
Yeah, sorta like Rock Hudson…
But straight.

This one time, I wrote a poem for my ex-girlfriend
She said
That’s the best thing I’ve ever read
And she reads poets, yet
Yates, Cummings, you name it
She’s got all these guys bouncing round her head

MARCIE
She sounds great

AUSTEN
She has an insight that could win a Pulitzer Prize
There’s in genius in her mind that truly sparkles through her eyes
She’s so smart, to be near make’s your intelligence rise…
But, I don’t want to talk about her

So, uh, what do you do?

MARCIE
I’m a photographer.

AUSTEN
Wow, okay. What kind of stuff do you do?

MARCIE
I try to capture the beauty of the human spirit.

AUSTEN
Speaking of beauty, that reminds me of my ex-girlfriend
Oh, she was gorgeous, but she never really knew it
She had this smile, I swear to God
You were blessed if you had one chance to view it
She had a look that could inspire symphonies
Or cause the most stubborn men to have epiphanies
She was as enchanting as Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s…
But I don’t want to talk about her

MARCIE
So, you have an ex-girlfriend?

AUSTEN
Ugh, I don’t want to talk about her.

MARCIE
Oh, right, sorry. There’s some things I don’t want to talk about either.

AUSTEN
Like what?

MARCIE
I don’t want to talk about the fact that I
Can’t seem to find a single guy
Who meets all my desires

AUSTEN
That’s fine. Maybe we could talk about…

MARCIE
I don’t want to talk about how many men
Have claimed that they would be the one
And it turns out they’re all liars

AUSTEN
Now, Marcie…

MARCIE
I don’t want to talk about the day when I
Experimented with my girlfriend
And I almost came out

AUSTEN
We can talk about that if you really want to.

MARCIE
But there’s always something missing
Now matter where I search
But, that’s not what I want to talk about

AUSTEN
Oh, man… you’re kind of a whiner.

MARCIE
I’m sorry, but wasn’t it you who spent the first half of this conversation talking about your ex-girlfriend?

AUSTEN
How dare you bring up the topic of my ex-girlfriend?!

MARCIE
Yeah, but you were the…. WHAT?!

AUSTEN
Who is gorgeous and brilliant, by the way.

MARCIE
Yeah, I heard.

AUSTEN
You know, I’m trying not to think about it and you throw it in my face?!

MARCIE
Throw it?!

AUSTEN
Now I’m all upset, and it’s the fifteenth time today

MARCIE
Less than I would’ve guessed.

AUSTEN
I’m not the type who runs or hides

MARCIE
I see.

AUSTEN
I follow my plan
Follow my guides

MARCIE
No matter how misguided they may be

AUSTEN
You’re wrong.
I know we’ll be together
Forever
Besides
I don’t want to talk about her

MARCIE
Obviously.

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