Mrs Henderson Presents Lyrics

2016 West End
Mrs Henderson Presents the Musical - Mrs Henderson Presents Lyrics


"Mrs Henderson Presents" is a song performed by Tracie Bennett (Laura Henderson), Ian Bartholomew (Vivian Van Damm), and Company from Mrs Henderson Presents the musical.

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
Opening a theater
With 500 seats to fill
Is an 18 karat worry
It could make a person ill
Our Gracie’s down at Empire
The Palladium's got Max Miller
But putting bums in seats in this place
Could be a blinking killer

LAURA:
Mrs. Henderson Presents
I can see that on a bill
There will be premiers
Where everyone is dressed to kill
London’s elite will pay a fortune to be there
There will be queues from Windmill Street
All the way to SoHo Square
It’s an 18 karat thrill
When Mrs. Henderson Presents
[?]

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
Mrs. Henderson presents doesn’t mean we’ll have a hit
Without [?] on the stage
Or Geraldo in the pit
If we’ve no headline act we just won’t bring them in

LAURA:
You’re wrong

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
I’m right

LAURA:
I must insist Mr. VanDamm

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
I’m already feeling ill

LAURA:
If Mrs. Henderson presents [?]

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
It won’t be easy
I’ll have to graft
It’ll take all my expertise and craft
The competition is immense
Now let’s find out exactly what it is
That Mrs. Henderson presents

LAURA (spoken):
Oh marvelous he’s a catch yes

VIVIAN VAN DAMM (spoken):
Skilled certainly

LAURA (spoken):
There was a chap in India
That juggled scimitars with one hand
Well he had no choice really

VIVIAN VAN DAMM (spoken):
Thank you. Next

LAURA (singing):
Oh I do love magic tricks
How they do it heaven knows

VIVIAN VAN DAMM (singing):
The magic must be good or
Hey presto we will close
It’s not the kind of talent Seinfeld would employ
This trick I hate

LAURA:
I think he’s great

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
Now you’re starting to annoy

In a depression the house is tough
They won’t want this when they’re depressed enough
You’ve got to use your common sense

LAURA:
As a matter of fact that’s the kind of act that
Mrs. Henderson presents

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
Next
One lie one love sent from above
Sweet as apple pie (LAURA: Oh marvelous)
Her face her smile
Makes life worthwhile
She’s just right for me
How lucky can you be
One life one love sent from above
Our lives are heavenly

LAURA (spoken):
Absolutely splendid

VIVIAN VAN DAMM (spoken):
He went flat

LAURA (spoken):
But look at him
Who’d be listening

VIVIAN VAN DAMM (spoken):
You are banned from these auditions

LAURA (spoken):
Then I shall cancel the opening

VIVIAN VAN DAMM (spoken):
Then I shall resign

LAURA (spoken):
Bravo Mr. VanDamm

LAURA (singing):
Always good to clear the air
Know exactly where we stand
You’re quite a character
Let me shake you by the hand
Together we will make the most delightful pair
I will try to keep my nerve

BOTH:
I will try to keep my hair when
When Mrs. Henderson presents
The [?]
I [?] worked everyday
Front of house
The guards the wings
Box office and the take
Now these are the important things
So business is a business
We must make it pay
And if we don’t
Please don’t say
I’m [?] with Oy Vei
Next

ENSEMBLE:
Mrs. Henderson presents
You can see her name in lights

We will be the hottest ticket
Way beyond compare
There will be queues from Windmill Street
All the way to SoHo Square
When Mrs. Henderson presents
[?]

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
God I hate this tension
I’m far too old for shocks
And if we’re not a triumph
I’m back to selling socks

LAURA:
There’s no need to be nervous
Our future’s looking bright

VIVIAN VAN DAMM:
But critics can be brutal
I’ve known shows to last one night

LAURA:
An opus night tradition
Might cheer you up a bit
The girls said I should wish you
The very best of shit

I beg your pardon
Please don’t make me say it twice
It was hard enough the first time
You’ve quite misunderstood them
Or your hearing is impaired
In fact we don’t translate it
What we tend to say is [?]
Oh good heavens
Good luck everybody
Break your necks
Diamonds only dazzle
[?]
But owning a theater
That’s my idea of fun
They all dance
They sing
Show business is their thing
They entertain you
They’ve got taps on their shoes
You’ll lose those blues
That’s what life’s about
Some things you can’t live without
We know what’s what
We hit the spot
So have yourselves a great night out

Mrs. Henderson Presents
Mrs. Henderson Presents
A show by Vivian VanDamm
We’re gonna raise the roof
Cause London’s biggest traffic jam
We’ll be the hottest ticket
Way beyond compare
There will be queues from Windmill Street
All the way to Soho Square where
Mrs. Henderson Pre
Mrs. Henderson Pre
Mrs. Henderson Presents

I can clear your mind
Others not far behind
Everyone enjoys the Windmill
Whistle and cheer up
Happiness from here on
No one sees [?]
Come in from the cold
If you’re young or if you’re old
You will all be there at the Windmill
We can laugh about this weather
When we’re together all our woes are gone
Music comedy and laughter
[?]
You want an autograph (please)
I’ll see you after
Anything to chase away the blues (away the blues)
Dance routine to [?]
Keep an eye out for tomorrow’s stars
Girls with skin like a pup
Everything is here to cheer you up (cheer you up)
[?]
Relaxation really pays
All of us here at the Windmill
[?]
Happiness if yours if you need to stay indoors
There’s no waiting at the Windmill
Go on now and tell your best friend
[?]


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