A Little Priest Lyrics

Original Broadway production 1979
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street the Musical - A Little Priest Lyrics


MRS. LOVETT:
That's all very well, but what are we gonna do about the Eyetalian?

TODD:
Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him out of the trunk and bury him.

MRS. LOVETT:
Well yes, of course, we could do that.
I don't suppose he's got any relatives going to come poking around looking for him.
But you know me. Bright ideas just pop into my head and I keep thinking...
Seems a downright shame

TODD:
Shame?

MRS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's 'is name
Has...
Had...
Has...
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift-
Debts to be erased-
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift...
If you get my drift...
No?
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it-

TODD:
Ah!

MRS. LOVETT:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better, using only
Pussycats and toast.
And a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't compare
As far as taste-

TODD:                                                              MRS. LOVETT:
Mrs. Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet                                  Well, it does seem a
Appropriate, as always.                                      Waste...
Mrs. Lovett
How I did without you                                         It's an idea...
All these years I'll never know!                            Think about it...
How delectable!                                                 Lots of other gentlemen'll
Also undetectable.                                             Soon be coming for a shave
.                                                                      Won't they?
.                                                                      Think of
How choice!                                                      All them
How rare!                                                         Pies!

TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?

MRS. LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd,
What, Mr. Todd,
What is that sound?

TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air?

MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, Mr. Todd, yes,
All around-

TODD:                                                         MRS. LOVETT:
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we                                           Then who are we
To deny it in here?                                        To deny it in here?

TODD:
These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures must be taken.

MRS. LOVETT:
Here we are now, hot out of the oven.

TODD:
What is that?

MRS. LOVETT:
It's priest.
Have a little priest.

TODD:
Is it really good?

MRS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good,
At least.
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.

TODD:
Awful lot of fat.

MRS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat.

TODD:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?

MRS. LOVETT:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest.

TODD:
Heavenly. Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but then not as bland as curate, either.

MRS. LOVETT:
Good for business, too - always leaves you wanting more. Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays...
Lawyer's rather nice.

TODD:
If it's for a price.

MRS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice.

TODD:
Have you any dean?

MRS. LOVETT:
No but if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine.
Anyway, it's clean.
Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been.

TODD:
Is that squire
On the fire?

MRS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer.

TODD:
Looks thicker.
More like vicar.

MRS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer - it's green.

TODD:
The history of the world, my love

MRS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favours...

TODD:
-Is those below serving those up above.

MRS. LOVETT::
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavours

TODD:
How gratifying for once to know-

BOTH:
-That those, above will serve those down below!

MRS. LOVETT:
Now, let's see...we've got tinker...

TODD:
No, no. Something pinker.

MRS. LOVETT:
Tailor?

TODD:
Paler.

MRS: LOVETT:
Butler?

TODD:
Subtler.

MRS. LOVETT:
Potter?

TODD:
Hotter

MRS. LOVETT:
Locksmith?
Lovely bit of clerk.

TODD:
Maybe for a lark...

MRS. LOVETT:
Then again, there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark.
Try the financier.
Peak of his career.

TODD:
That looks pretty rank.

MRS. LOVETT:
Well he drank.
It's a bank
Cashier
Last one really sold
Wasn't quite so old

TODD:
Have you any Beadle?

MRS. LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told.
Beadle isn't bad 'til you smell it
And notice how well it's
Been greased.
Stick to priest.
Now this might be a bit stringy, but then, of course, it's fiddle player.

TODD:
No, no. This isn't fiddle player. It's piccolo player.

MRS. LOVETT:
How can you tell?

TODD:
It's piping hot.

MRS. LOVETT:
Then blow it on first.

TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet-

MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?

TODD:
-Is who gets eaten and who gets to eat.

MRS. LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell.

TODD:                                                         MRS. LOVETT:
But fortunately, it's also clear-
That everybody                                            But everybody
Goes down well with beer.                            Goes down well with beer.

MRS. LOVETT:
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about rear admiral?

TODD:
Too salty. I prefer general.

MRS. LOVETT:
With or without his privates?

TODD:
What is that?

MRS. LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top.
And I've just begun.
Here's a politician - so oily
It's served with a doily-
Have one.

TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run.

MRS. LOVETT:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.

TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too course and too mealy.

MRS. LOVETT:
But actor-
That's compacter.

TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you
Have Judge on the menu...
Have charity towards the world, my pet-

MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love-

TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get.

MRS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love.

TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small.
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone-

BOTH:
And to anyone at all!

[Thanks to Sam Wilkes for lyrics]

Other Album Songs: Sweeney Todd the Musical Lyrics
A Little Priest Lyrics from Sweeney Todd the Musical