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Original Broadway production 1979
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street the Musical - A Little Priest Lyrics
MRS. LOVETT:
That's all very well,
But what are we gonna do about the Eyetalian?
TODD:
Later on, when it's dark,
We'll take him out of the trunk and bury him.
MRS. LOVETT:
Well yes, of course, we could do that.
I don't suppose he's got any relatives going
to come poking around looking for him.
But you know me.
Bright ideas just pop into my head and I keep thinking...
Seems a downright shame
TODD:
Shame?
MRS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's 'is name
Has...
Had...
Has...
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift-
Debts to be erased-
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift...
If you get my drift...
No?
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it-
TODD:
Ah!
MRS. LOVETT:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better, using only
Pussycats and toast.
And a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't compare
As far as taste-
TODD: MRS. LOVETT:
Mrs. Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet Well, it does seem a
Appropriate, as always. Waste...
Mrs. Lovett
How I did without you It's an idea...
All these years I'll never know! Think about it...
How delectable! Lots of other gentlemen'll
Also undetectable. Soon be coming for a shave
. Won't they?
. Think of
How choice! All them
How rare! Pies!
TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
MRS. LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd,
What, Mr. Todd,
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air?
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, Mr. Todd, yes,
All around-
TODD: MRS. LOVETT:
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we Then who are we
To deny it in here? To deny it in here?
TODD:
These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett,
And desperate measures must be taken.
MRS. LOVETT:
Here we are now, hot out of the oven.
TODD:
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's priest.
Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
MRS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good,
At least.
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
MRS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?
MRS. LOVETT:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest.
TODD:
Heavenly. Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
But then not as bland as curate, either.
MRS. LOVETT:
Good for business, too - always leaves you wanting more.
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays...
Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
MRS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice.
TODD:
Have you any dean?
MRS. LOVETT:
No but if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine.
Anyway, it's clean.
Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been.
TODD:
Is that squire
On the fire?
MRS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer.
TODD:
Looks thicker.
More like vicar.
MRS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer - it's green.
TODD:
The history of the world, my love
MRS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favours...
TODD:
-Is those below serving those up above.
MRS. LOVETT::
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavours
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know-
BOTH:
-That those, above will serve those down below!
MRS. LOVETT:
Now, let's see...we've got tinker...
TODD:
No, no. Something pinker.
MRS. LOVETT:
Tailor?
TODD:
Paler.
MRS: LOVETT:
Butler?
TODD:
Subtler.
MRS. LOVETT:
Potter?
TODD:
Hotter
MRS. LOVETT:
Locksmith?
Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark...
MRS. LOVETT:
Then again, there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark.
Try the financier.
Peak of his career.
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
MRS. LOVETT:
Well he drank.
It's a bank
Cashier
Last one really sold
Wasn't quite so old
TODD:
Have you any Beadle?
MRS. LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told.
Beadle isn't bad 'til you smell it
And notice how well it's
Been greased.
Stick to priest.
Now this might be a bit stringy,
But then, of course, it's fiddle player.
TODD:
No, no. This isn't fiddle player. It's piccolo player.
MRS. LOVETT:
How can you tell?
TODD:
It's piping hot.
MRS. LOVETT:
Then blow it on first.
TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet-
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
-Is who gets eaten and who gets to eat.
MRS. LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell.
TODD: MRS. LOVETT:
But fortunately, it's also clear-
That everybody But everybody
Goes down well with beer. Goes down well with beer.
MRS. LOVETT:
Since marine doesn't appeal to you,
How about rear admiral?
TODD:
Too salty. I prefer general.
MRS. LOVETT:
With or without his privates?
TODD:
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top.
And I've just begun.
Here's a politician - so oily
It's served with a doily-
Have one.
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run.
MRS. LOVETT:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too course and too mealy.
MRS. LOVETT:
But actor-
That's compacter.
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you
Have Judge on the menu...
Have charity towards the world, my pet-
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love-
TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get.
MRS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love.
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small.
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone-
BOTH:
And to anyone at all!
[Thanks to Sam Wilkes for lyrics]
Other Album Songs: Sweeney Todd the Musical Lyrics
A Little Priest Lyrics from Sweeney Todd the Musical
Sweeney Todd the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
The Ballad of Sweeney Todd
No Place Like London
The Barber and His Wife
The Worst Pies in London
Poor Thing
My Friends
The Ballad: "Lift Your Razor High, Sweeney!"
Green Finch and Linnet Bird
Ah, Miss
Johanna
Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Pirelli's Entrance
The Contest
The Ballad: "Sweeney Pondered and Sweeney Planned"
Wait
The Ballad: "His Hands Were Quick, His Fingers Strong"
Johanna - Mea Culpa
Kiss Me (Part 1)
Ladies In Their Sensitivities
Kiss Me (Part 2)
Pretty Women
Epiphany
A Little Priest
God, That's Good!
Johanna (Reprise)
By the Sea
Wigmaker Sequence
The Letter
Not While I'm Around
Parlour Songs
The Ballad: "The Engine Roared, The Motor Hissed"
City on Fire/ Searching
The Judge's Return
The Final Scene
Epilogue
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