Sweeney Todd - The Worst Pies in London Lyrics

Original Broadway production 1979
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street the Musical - The Worst Pies in London Lyrics

A customer!
Wait! What's yer rush? What's yer hurry?
You gave me such a-
Fright. I thought you was a ghost.
Half a minute, Can'tcher?
Sit! Sit ye down!
All I meant is that I
Haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague-
What is that?
But you'd think we had the plague-
From the way that people-
Keep avoiding-
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale-
Right you are, sir. Would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them-
These are probably the worst pies in London.
I know why nobody cares to take them-
I should know,
I make them.
But good? No,
The worst pies in London-
Even that's polite.
The worst pies in London-
If you doubt it, take a bite.
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it.
It's nothing but crusting-
Here, drink this, you'll need it-
The worst pies in London-
And no wonder with the price of
Meat what it is
When you get it.
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a
Treat finding poor
Wot are dying in the street.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does a business, but I've noticed something weird-
Lately all her neighbours' cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her-
Wot I calls
Popping pussies into pies.
Wouldn't do in my shop-
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick.
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick.
No denying times is hard, sir-
Even harder than
The worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more-
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty,
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like-
Well, pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London.
Ah sir,
Times is hard. Times is hard.

[Thanks to Sam Wilkes for lyrics]

Other Album Songs: Sweeney Todd the Musical Lyrics
The Worst Pies in London Lyrics from Sweeney Todd the Musical

Sweeney Todd the Musical Lyrics

The Ballad of Sweeney Todd
No Place Like London
The Barber and His Wife
The Worst Pies in London
Poor Thing
My Friends
The Ballad: "Lift Your Razor High, Sweeney!"
Green Finch and Linnet Bird
Ah, Miss
Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Pirelli's Entrance
The Contest
The Ballad: "Sweeney Pondered and Sweeney Planned"
The Ballad: "His Hands Were Quick, His Fingers Strong"
Johanna - Mea Culpa
Kiss Me (Part 1)
Ladies In Their Sensitivities
Kiss Me (Part 2)
Pretty Women
A Little Priest
God, That's Good!
Johanna (Reprise)
By the Sea
Wigmaker Sequence
The Letter
Not While I'm Around
Parlour Songs
The Ballad: "The Engine Roared, The Motor Hissed"
City on Fire/ Searching
The Judge's Return
The Final Scene