Tootsie the Musical - What's Gonna Happen Lyrics

2019 Broadway
Tootsie the Musical - What's Gonna Happen Lyrics

"What's Gonna Happen" was written by David Yazbek, performed by Sarah Stiles (Sandy).

I know what's gonna happen
I'll try to go to bed
With fear of failure flapping
Like a fruit bat in my head

I'll sleep for half an hour
The clock will ring at six
I'll wake up in the shower with a stomach full of bricks
So I won't have any breakfast maybe just a little tea
Like when you have to go and get a colonoscopy
Which incidentally isn't half as disconcerting or upsetting
As going for a part you know there is no way that you are getting

But anyway I am heading downtown for the audition
Where everything I am dreading will be coming to fruition
And here's what's gonna happen
I'll walk in weak with hunger
And there's a dozen girls
Who look like me but ten years younger

I'll go into the bathroom
And I'll try to vocalize
And I'll be signing *vocalizes*
But I'll be hearing Sandy sucks
She really sucks, she really, really, really blows
And she's old, and she's lame
And then someone calls my name

And here's what happens
I'll walk into the room
The gross fluorescent lightning is inviting as a tomb
And everybody smiles, they'll say its good to see ya
But all I see is judges
And they'll all look like Scalia

And then a little banter as they look me up and down
And somewhere through the fog of insecurity and hate
I'll try to convince them that I'm charming
And I'm clever and I'm fun to have around
[?] my head I hear the gavel

They're gonna throw the book at me 'cause I'm
Of coming in and wasting all their time
Of almost every other showless crime
Not young enough!
Not thin enough!
Not pretty enough!
Not good enough!

We hereby sentence you to a lifetime of waiting tables and [?]

But wait no someone's asking
So can we hear your voice?
I make a lame attempt at humor: Do I have a choice?
I nod at the pianist, he's always wearing black
He's always in a turtleneck with dandruff on his back

No sooner do I get my note and open up my trap
Then inevitably some [?]
Assistant director [?] all over his iPhone
And I know he's probably tweeting LOL
This girl is crap
She is a fake
She is a [?]
She could never win a tony

And now I'm in a place I know quite well
I've left the world and I've entered hell
I'm this far away from a fainting spell

But just before I die
I finish a song
Which I oversell
Somebody says thanks
And wishes me well
The next thing I know
I'm at Tacobell
Stuffing my face with meat

I'm trying to take it slowly
I'm trying to be my best
I'm trying to be more holy
Less bitter and Depressed
Oh! I'm reading [?]
He makes a lot of sense
I bought a Buddhist boul
He says he it helps you be less tense

It doesn't do a thing for me
I sit there on the floor
I watch [?] secrets

But you know what's gonna happen
'Cuz it never doesn't happen
It's gonna always, always, always
No! I know what's gonna happen
Don't tell me that I don't
I know I say I'll rise up to
The occasion but I won't

And don't say that I'm [?]
And don't say I'm [?]
And don't say that I'm clever
'Cuz I know I'm pretty smart
I'm smart enough to know
That I'm too stupid to admit
That I can't survive on a diet
That consists of eating shit

You know what's gonna happen
I know what's gonna happen
Heres's what's gonna happen
I quit!
I quit!
I quit!

Other Songs: Tootsie the Musical Lyrics
Sarah Stiles What's Gonna Happen lyrics from Tootsie the musical