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2022 Broadway revival
Funny Girl the Musical - If a Girl Isn't Pretty Lyrics
The song is written by Jule Styne and Bob Merrill.
MRS. STRAKOSH:
If a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City
All she gets from life
Is pity and a pat
Kindly name a star who hasn't
Won a contest or a pageant
If she hasn't she just never gets to bat
MRS. MEEKER:
She must shine in every detail
Like a ring you're buying retail
Be a standard size that
Fits a standard dress
MRS. STRAKOSH:
When a girl's incidentals
Are no bigger than two lentils
FANNY: (spoken)
Really, Mrs. Strakosh?!
MRS. STRAKOSH & MRS. MEEKER:
Then to me it doesn't spell success
MRS. BRICE:
From two faces that could cause you
To have temporary nausea
Do I have to hear a lecture such as that?
Is a nose with deviation
Such a crime against the nation?
Should I throw her into jail or drown the cat?
So she's built a bit off balance
She possesses golden talents
Or is that a pill to bitter to digest?
Ignore the dragons, Fannele
FANNY: (spoken)
Don't you worry, Mrs. Strakosh
One day the whole world will look at me and be
Stunned!
MRS. BRICE: (spoken)
So go! Toi toi toi
And break a leg!
EDDIE: (spoken)
From the top!
5, 6, 7, 8
Come on, girls
Arms!
Good job, girls
Come on, Fanny
Get in there just like we practiced!
There you go, Fanny
Go to it, Fanny
Come on and bring it over here!
MR. KEENEY: (spoken)
Hey, you in the bloomers
FANNY: (spoken)
Yes, Mr. Keeney?
MR. KEENEY: (spoken)
What are you doing there?
FANNY: (spoken)
Dancing!
MR. KEENEY: (spoken)
Well go and do it somewheres else
You're fired
EDDIE: (spoken)
Come on, boss!
MR. KEENEY: (spoken)
What's with the ringer?
You owe somebody a favor?
EDDIE: (spoken)
It seemed like a funny idea!
MR. KEENEY: (spoken)
I pay comics for laughs
I pay chorus girls for... something else
(sung)
If a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City
She should dump the stage
And try another route
FANNY: (spoken)
Listen, I know I'm no dancer but
MR. KEENEY:
Any guy who pays a quarter
For a seat just feels he oughta
See a figure that his wife can't substitute
FANNY: (spoken)
Oh, come on!
MR. KEENEY:
If a girl ain't perfection
You better take up a collection
Every girl must be a dazzler and a beaut
EDDIE:
She's got very nice deportment
FANNY: (spoken)
Thank you, Eddie
MR. KEENEY:
But when they see that assortment
From the gallery they'll be throwing fruit!
FANNY: (spoken)
Who asked you?!
CHORUS:
If a girl isn't pretty
If a girl isn't pretty
If a girl isn't pretty
If a girl isn't pretty
If a girl isn't pretty
She should get a job
Go get a job
Get any job
Get a weekly pay!
'Cause if a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City
She's a real Miss Nobody, U.S.A
Review: Funny Girl the Musical Lyrics
Funny Girl the Musical Lyrics
PLOT
Who Are You Now?
If a Girl Isn't Pretty
I'm the Greatest Star
Cornet Man
His Love Makes Me Beautiful
I Want to Be Seen with You
Henry Street
People
You Are Woman, I Am Man
Don't Rain on My Parade
Sadie, Sadie
Who Taught Her Everything She Knows?
Temporary Arrangement
Rat-Tat-Tat-Tat
Who Are You Now? (Reprise)
You're a Funny Girl / Beekman Call
What Do Happy People Do?
The Music That Makes Me Dance
Finale
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