Magic Tree House - What's So Great About Magic? Lyrics

2007 American children's musical
Magic Tree House the Musical - What's So Great About Magic? Lyrics


GUARD #1
Did you see this? Four more magicians exiled!

GUARD #2
Yeah, what a shame.

GUARD #1
Shame? The King’s Decree is the best thing
ever happened to Camelot, in my book.

GUARD #2
You’re joking!

GUARD #1
Ah, yer just like all the rest of ‘em.
Bleedin’ heart magicals.
You’ll be carrying a sign with ‘em next.

GUARD #2
Well, what if I did?

GUARD #1
Wait a minute. What’ve ye got there?

GUARD #2
Nothin’.

GUARD #1
No, let me see that! What does that say?

“Bring Back the Magic?? Oh, blimey!

WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT MAGIC
I’D REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE TO KNOW
WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IT’S SO TRAGIC
THAT ARTHUR SAID THE MAGIC HAS TO GO?

NO, I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE A SORCERER
I’D NEVER EVER CHOOSE TO BE AN ELF
A MEDIEVAL TORTURER
IS MUCH MORE IN TUNE WITH ME INNER SELF!

I’D RATHER WORK IN A DUNGEON
DARK AND DAMP AND FULL OF RATS AND LICE
THAN WEAR A POINTY HAT AT A LUNCHEON
SPEAKIN’ SPELLS, WAVIN’ WANDS, AND MAKIN’ NICEY NICE NICE

I ASK YOU
WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT MAGIC
TURNIN’ PEOPLE INTO SLIMY FROGS AND NEWTS
MAKIN’ RABBITS DISAPPEAR, CHANGIN’ WATER INTO BEER
(WELL, THERE’S A FEW TRICKS I WOULDN’T MIND LEARNIN’...)
BUT ME CURRENT SITUATION REALLY SUITS
ME DISPOSITION SO MUCH BETTER
THAN A PRESTIDIGITATOR
THAT I’D BE A VERY TRAITOR
TO THE TRUTH
IF I WENT ON AND ON
BECAUSE THE MAGIC’S GONE
ALACK! ALAS! FORSOOTH! -- NOT!

GUARD #2
I USED TO LIKE A BIT OF MAGIC
AND I’M AFRAID I’M GONNA MISS IT NOW IT’S GONE
IT MAKES ME EXISTENTIALLY SAD, IT’S...
EMBLEMATIC OF THE CULTURE THAT IT’S BEEN WITHDRAWN

GUARD #1
What???

GUARD #2
THE MAGIC GAVE US ALL A BIT OF SPARKLE
A REASON TO GET OUT OF BED EACH DAY
BUT OUR SOCIETY IS CLEARLY PATRIARCHAL
SO I SUPPOSE THE KING MUST HAVE HIS WAY

BUT DARN, I’M GONNA MISS THE SPRITES AND FAIRIES
THE WIZARDS AND THE WITCHES AND THE LIKE
WITH THEIR POTIONS MADE OF SECRET ROOTS AND BERRIES
AND THEIR SCREECHING
AND THEIR CHANTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

GUARD #1
Oh, please!

GUARD #2
I’LL TELL YOU
WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT MAGIC
IT’S MORE THAN JUST A PARLOR TRICK OR TWO
FORGET THE BUNNIES IN THE HATS,
THE WITCHES’ BIG ENCHANTED CATS

GUARD #1
I rather liked the cats....

GUARD #2
THAT’S A MINOR PART OF WHAT MAGICIANS DO
YOU SEE THE MAGIC’S A DIVERSION
A METAPHYSICAL EXCURSION
FAR AWAY FROM THE IMMERSION
IN OUR DAY TO DAY MILIEU

IN OTHER WORDS,

IT’S A HOLIDAY FROM THINKIN’
‘BOUT THIS LOUSY ROTTEN STINKIN’
JOB I SUFFER THROUGH EACH BLINKIN’ DAY WITH YOU!

GUARD #1
Huh. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it.

JACK AND ANNIE ARRIVE ON STAG

ANNIE
Wow. I guess this is it. There’s the iron gate.

JACK
Yeah. And there’s the guards.
How are we supposed to get past them?

ANNIE
Well, those guys don’t look so scary. Maybe we can just talk to them and ask --

MAGIC STEALER
‘Scuse me, pardon me, ‘scuse me, pardon me, scuse me --

GUARD #1
Hey! Where do ye think you’re goin’?

MAGIC STEALER
Uh... nowhere. Just passing through.

GUARD #1
Come to steal a bit o’ magic, eh? Into the pit with ye!

MAGIC STEALER
No, please, I --

GUARD #1
Grab him!

MAGIC STEALER
No! Please! No! No! Not the pit!

GUARDS
One... Two...

MAGIC STEALER
No! Please!

GUARDS
THREE!!!!

MAGIC STEALER
Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JACK
Still want to talk to them about it?

ANNIE
Ummm... maybe not....

JACK
We’ll have to try to sneak past when they’re not looking.

ANNIE
Right.

GUARD #1
That’ll teach him.

GUARD #2
I hate this job.

GUARDS
WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT MAGIC?
IT’S MORE THAN JUST A QUESTION OF DEGREE...
IT’S A TOPIC OF DEBATE
AMONG THE LESSER AND THE GREAT
IT SEEMS YOU EITHER LOVE OR HATE THE KING’S DECREE

GUARD #1
I FIND IT TEDIOUS AND BORING
SOMETHING HARDLY WORTH EXPLORING
YET IT SENDS ME SPIRITS SOARING!

GUARD #2
No, no, no! That’s me!

GUARD #1
What?

GUARD #2
“Sends me spirits soaring” is my line!

GUARD #1
Oh. Right, right. Sorry, sorry, sorry. My fault.

GUARD #2
It’s all right. Let’s just say....

IT’S A BONE OF CONTENTION
IT’S A SOURCE OF GREAT DISSENSION

GUARD #1
AND I HESITATE TO MENTION
THAT IT’S CAUSED A BIT OF TENSION

GUARD #2
IT’S A BLESSING!

GUARD #1
IT’S A CURSE!

GUARD #2
YOU’RE A MORON!

GUARD #1
WELL, YOU’RE WORSE!

GUARD #2
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

GUARD #1
WELL, I GUESS WE’LL JUST AGREE

GUARD #2
YES, WE’LL HAVE TO JUST AGREE

GUARDS
YES, I THINK WE MUST AGREE TO DISAGREE!

THE GUARDS FIGHT

GUARD #2
Stop it!

GUARD #
1You stop it!

JACK
Now!!


Other Songs: Magic Tree House the Musical Songs Lyrics