Twelfth Night - Count Malvolio Lyrics

2018 Public Works musical adaptation of Shakespeare's comedy
Twelfth Night the Musical - Count Malvolio Lyrics

(Music & Lyrics by Shaina Taub)

It all comes down to luck in this wild, wicked world
But luck doesn’t have infallibility
For luck had the nerve to make me one who serves
When it’s plain to see I ought to be nobility

Even the countess treats me with superior respect
I’m clearly her favorite in the house
She hinted once that should she ever marry,
She hopes someone like me would be her spouse
So, what’s the likely theory to espouse?

I could be count malvolio!
Lord of the estate
Dressed in all the finest silk and master of my fate
I’d summon all my minions in a most majestic tone
Then once they all arrived
I’d tell them, “leave me alone!”

Imagine count malvolio
Married up and up
Watching all my fortunes as they grew
They’ll all wish they’d been nice
Once I re-load the dice
When I finally get my due

I’d send seven servants off to fetch my uncle toby
Then I’d wait there with a most impatient frown
I’d fiddle with my diamond-studded wristwatch
As I lounge upon a bed of fluffy down

Then toby would approach me with a curtsy
I’d extend my regal hand for him to kiss
But instead of my customary courtesy
I’d indubitably lecture him like this:
“Now that I’m married to the countess,
At last it is my right to speak the truth.
You must amend your drinking and carousing,
And that andrew friend of yours must go.
He’s simply uncouth!”

And he’ll say
“Count malvolio,
Please forgive my flaws.
I’m just a lousy liar who thinks he’s above the laws.
If only you could teach me how to be so refined!”
But I’d say:
“Sorry toby,
There’s no hope for your vulgar mind!”

Just picture count malvolio
Honored and adored
My destiny would all be coming true
They’ll all wish they’d been sweet
Well they can kiss my feet
When I finally get my due!

I know I wasn’t dreaming
Or getting carried away
My lady truly loves me
Her missive’s plain as day!
The clues are adding up
The letters in my name
Now all I have to do is play her game!
Then I’ll be count malvolio
If I play along
Act surly to the servants and tell toby that he’s wrong
I’ll sport my yellow stockings and cross-garter every lace
And I’ll always wear a monumental smile on my face!
Til I am count malvolio
I will ace each test
My fortunate unhappy puts me to
My instructions are clear
So the day’s drawing near
When I’ll finally get my due!

I shall be

Malvolio & Illyrians:
Count malvolio

By the grace of jove!
I thank my lucky stars for coming through
I’ll do all that she said
And then when we are wed
I will finally get
Yes, I’ll finally get my due!

You’ll get your due!

My due!

You’ll get your due!

Malvolio & Illyrians:
Your/My due!

Other Songs: Twelfth Night the Musical Songs Lyrics
song Count Malvolio lyrics from Twelfth Night the Musical

Twelfth Night the Musical Lyrics

Play On
Word on the Street Is
Tell Her
If You Were My Beloved
If You Were My Beloved (Reprise)
Viola's Soliloquy
You're the Worst
Is This Not Love
Count Malvolio
Word on the Street II
Count Malvolio (Reprise)
What Kind Of Man Are You Gonna Be?
Viola's Soliloquy (Reprise)
Sebastian's Soliloquy
Word on the Street III
Viola's Soliloquy (2nd Reprise)
Tell Her (Reprise)
Malvolio's Exit
Is This Not Love (Reprise)
Eyes of Another