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2024 West End
Why Am I So Single? the Musical - No Question Lyrics
The song is written by Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss.
OLIVER:
You've been wondering what's wrong
With you and hey guess what?
I'm sure you know by now the answer is a lot
You overthink
You overdrink
You panic every time you might have found
A future husband for yourself
And even though all of the aforementioned things are true
And even though you are a git and yeah, you know it too
I don't think that these are fundamental reasons
As to why right now you find yourself upon the shelf
And so I start to roll my eyes
When you demand we analyse
What’s to blame
As if it's not a game
As if we're both the same
When you and I both know
There's no question that you're gonna find someone to love
That you're gonna get the sunset you dreamed of
There's no question that you're gonna find someone to hold
You're gonna move to the Cotswolds and grow old
And you’ll laugh at your old jingle
Of “Why am I so single?”
But there’ll be no question left for you to answer
There’s no question
NANCY: (spoken)
Thank you
Where’s the Cotswolds?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Nobody knows
NANCY: (spoken)
But I genuinely don’t see
This as some big difference between us
Like I can see all of this happening for you
It’s gonna happen sometime
OLIVER: (spoken)
Sally I think you’re needed back at the Kit Kat Club
NANCY:
Look I’ll admit that recently
It’s been a rough old patch
You’ve been burned a bit
And now you're scared to find a match
But your perfect man is out there waiting
OLIVER:
Waiting for the moment he can organise
And cancel our first date
NANCY:
You know you make these little jokes!
(Moi?)
Exhibit A?
I actually think it's what is standing in your way
I know all this deflection is so you don't risk rejection
OLIVER:
Sorry, doc remind me of your hourly rate
NANCY:
But when you get over this fear
All this avoiding then it’s clear you will see
That your future will be like what you see for me
OLIVER:
Nancy, look, there’s a bee!
There’s no bee
NANCY:
And there’s no question
You're gonna find the love of your life
OLIVER:
I can’t wait to meet him and his wife
NANCY:
No, there’s no question
You’re gonna find someone who’s all yours
OLIVER:
Yes, someone who has whiskers and paws
And I’ll teach my cat a jingle
He might sing ‘miaow, miaow, miaow, so in-le’
Until the day he eats my rotting carcass
And dies from indigestion
NANCY: (spoken)
OK, Oliver, but this is actually what I’m saying
This is why you’re single
Because you turn everything into a joke
As a way to keep people at arm’s length
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh so it’s just my terrible personality!
Phew, I was worried it was something I couldn’t change!
NANCY: (spoken)
No, but, well yeah actually you’re annoying as fuck
But I’m sorry you’re also like the most multi-faceted,
Dazzling, like spirit-lifting person I know
You’re like a human fucking disco ball for God’s sake
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh, well that’s good because
I do often see ‘novelty 70’s decoration’
As a listed kink on Grindr
NANCY: (spoken)
No, look listen, listen
The point is, you actually could find someone easily
But not if you keep pushing everyone who tries
To get close to you away with this fucking performance
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh yeah, I'm pushing away the hoards of guys
Who are queuing up to get close to me
Oh wait, they're not here
They had to go and see their girlfriends
NANCY: (spoken)
OK fine
Look, forget about them
What about me?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Nancy, I've told you I do not see you in that way
NANCY: (spoken)
Oh ha ha ha, was that another little joke, Oliver?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Well I’m sorry I’m so hilarious and fun
NANCY: (spoken)
But do you know what?
You actually are!
And I’m happy to joke about the men
Who have been shit to you
And the fucked-up things people say on the apps
And how you’re finding stuff around gender stressful
And the million other things it’s easier
To avoid than it is to actually look at
But at some point we could talk about it
I don’t know, maybe that would even help
OLIVER: (spoken)
I always forget you’re a professional life coach
How do you find the time?
NANCY: (spoken)
Or you could do that like you do
To everyone who tries to see inside
Why are you so fucking scared to show me,
To show anyone,
Who you are when you’re not putting on a fucking show?
Review: Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics
Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
Why Am I So Single? (Demo)
8 Dates
I Got Off the Plane
C U Never (Demo)
Shhh!!!!
Just In Case
Interlude into B Minor
Clubs Glorious Clubs
No Question
Disco Ball
Better Off Love Story
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