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2024 West End
Why Am I So Single? the Musical - Clubs Glorious Clubs Lyrics
The song is written by Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss.
OLIVER: (spoken)
When did we meet again?
ARTIE: (spoken)
Oh come on you remember
It was fresher's week at
That 2000s throwback club night
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh yeah, what was it called again
ALL: (spoken)
"Noughties, but nice"
ARTIE: (spoken)
Yep! And you were both giving
The most intense vibes in the world
NANCY: (spoken)
What? No we weren't!
OLIVER: (spoken)
Yeah I remember that night,
We were so cool and chilled
ARTIE: (spoken)
I hate to have to do this
But come on, don't you remember?
ARTIE:
You were in the corner,
You wanted to get with that guy
NANCY:
I wanted him cause he was so dreamy
He wanted someone, I wanted it to be me
ARTIE:
You were at the back
And stood chatting to someone nearby
OLIVER:
He wanted me, he was kinda excessive
Coming on strong and a little obsessive
ARTIE:
Yours tried to move on
And I can tell you wanna make him jealous
NANCY:
Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen
That's how you do it
ARTIE:
Yours gets his groove on
And I can se you wanna get to freedom
OLIVER:
It's a no, gotta show him I'm not into him
OLIVER & NANCY:
I look up slowly to the first person I see
I know what I must do somehow
Hear the beating of my heart
The crowd of dancers part
This is gonna happen now
OLIVER:
Right there in the middle of the dancefloor
NANCY:
Right where everybody in the club saw
OLIVER:
No more words
NANCY:
Came forwards
OLIVER & NANCY:
And S N O Double G E D
(They snogged!)
All the people looking over with envy
(Snogged)
All the boys and the girls and the enbys
(Snogged)
It was mission accomplished
When we S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D
Yes, S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D, ah, ah
ARTIE:
So I think your memories are selective
This is what happened from my perspective
NANCY:
I was in the corner,
I wanted to get with that guy
ARTIE:
All night long you'd been pretty much stalking
Cornered him and you wouldn't stop talking
OLIVER:
I was at the back
And stood chatting to someone nearby
ARTIE:
Who seems like a sweet guy,
Making conversation
You were acting like he was a rabid Alsatian
NANCY:
Mine tried to move on and I thought 'well
I've got to make him jealous'
ARTIE:
He went back to his friends,
You started crying
OLIVER:
Mine got his groove on and I could see
I had to get to freedom
ARTIE:
Never seen so much sweat,
I thought you were dying
Though you could barely see
You looked round desperately
To find someone as trashed as you
You staggered bleary eyed
You pushed people aside
And I thought 'who the hell are these two?'
Right there in the middle of the dancefloor
Right where everybody in the club saw
It went silent as you violently S N O Double G E D
OLIVER & NANCY:
We snogged!
So performative and weird
(Snogged)
Everyone in the vicinity cleared
(Snogged)
So messy and depressing
When you S N O Double G E D
Use a queer to seduce a straight guy
Use a woman to avoid a great guy
On the fence of offensive
When you S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D
Yes, S N O Double G E D
S N O Double G E D, ah, ah
NANCY:
Is he watching?
OLIVER:
Yes
NANCY:
Does he look jealous?
OLIVER:
Yes
ARTIE:
So, yeah, when I'd see what you two did
That was the moment I concluded
Think I'll keep them just as friends
Cause something's going on
And it's pretty intense
NANCY:
To be fair now looking back,
With fresh eyes
I think I'm gonna die of shame
OLIVER:
Likewise
ARTIE:
But I saw you chatting
To your boys later that night
So I guess it all worked out
OLIVER & NANCY:
Yeah, not quite
OLIVER: (spoken)
OK, see you around
BOY 2: (spoken)
OK, see you around
BOY 1: (spoken)
Can I add you on Facebook?
NANCY: (spoken)
Can I get your number?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Who uses Facebook anymore?
It's all about Vine!
BOY 1: (spoken)
Oh, look I actually broke my phone
Doing the Ice Bucket Challenge
BOY 2: (spoken)
Oh yeah maybe see you at freshers' fair
NANCY: (spoken)
Yeah cool, it's chill,
I'm not interested obviously
Cause I'm here with this hunky...
Heterosexual dude over here
OLIVER: (spoken)
Yeah... and if I'm not tired
From all the boob... jobs
NANCY: (spoken)
So... hey
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh... hey you
NANCY: (spoken)
Oh, look before this goes any further
OLIVER: (spoken)
Wait I just really need to tell you
OLIVER & NANCY: (spoken)
I don't fancy you and I never will
NANCY: (spoken)
Oh, phew
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh, thank god
NANCY: (spoken)
I'm sorry,
I was just snogging you cause of that guy
I'm sorry if that's weird of me
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh my gosh, no,
I was just snogging you ause of that guy,
So you make perfect sense to me
NANCY: (spoken)
Everyone I came with has left
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh... well I am here with the LGBT Soc,
Come hang with us if you want
NANCY: (spoken)
Really?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Consider yourself part of the family
NANCY: (spoken)
I'm taking to you so strong
OLIVER: (spoken)
It's clear
NANCY: (spoken)
We're
OLIVER & NANCY: (spoken)
Going to get along
OLIVER: (spoken)
No way! Am in the presence
Of another Oliver Exclamation Mark super fan?
NANCY: (spoken)
Er, it's only my favourite musical
Of all time, ever!
OLIVER: (spoken)
Favourite song?
OLIVER & NANCY: (spoken)
"I'd Do Anything"
NANCY: (spoken)
Favourite Broadway revival cast member?
OLIVER & NANCY: (spoken)
Patti LuPone
Best market seller?
ONIONS!
OLIVER: (spoken)
Look, I know we only just met but...
Do you trust me?
NANCY: (spoken)
With my life obviously
OLIVER: (spoken)
Ok, so, I actually downloaded the Torrent
From Pirate Bay earlier this evening
I don't suppose you wanna go back
To mine and watch
Oliver Exclamation Mark with me?
NANCY: (spoken)
Never before has a boy asked me to do that
I'd love to
OLIVER: (spoken)
Yay, let's go
OLIVER & NANCY:
And then we fucked
Right there, yeah the two of us screwed
Right after "Food, Glorious Food"
Bent over the sofa and F U C K E D
Yeah, we fucked
OLIVER & NANCY: (spoken)
No we didn't actually
That's a lie
Review: Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics
Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
Why Am I So Single? (Demo)
8 Dates
I Got Off the Plane
C U Never (Demo)
Shhh!!!!
Just In Case
Interlude into B Minor
Clubs Glorious Clubs
No Question
Disco Ball
Better Off Love Story
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