Why Am I So Single - Shhh!!!! Lyrics

2024 West End
Why Am I So Single? the Musical - Shhh!!!! Lyrics

The song is written by Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss.

OLIVER: (spoken)
Some people want diamonds
Expensive jewels
And spontaneous trips to Paris
Others want danger
Scoundrels and sinners
And sex in the back of a Toyota Yaris

(sung)
But I’ve learned all of that’s not for me, oh no
I am content with a romance I know

I just want a man who won’t tell any
Of his family or friends that I exist
I just want a boy who’ll take me
In his arms and tell me
‘Don’t tell anyone we kissed’
I just want a man who’ll hold my hand
As we walk round the park
But only where no one can see
Or after dark

A man who insists I don’t exist

MEN:
Shhh!!!!

OLIVER:
To anyone but him

If we’re on the town
And hе sees somebody he knows
He’ll always makе me cross the street

MEN:
Like you’re non-existent

OLIVER:
If we’re on a date
He’ll introduce me as his colleague
To the people that we meet

MEN:
‘This is my assistant’

OLIVER:
If we’re all alone when we’re at his
He’ll act all sweet for me
But when the doorbell rings
It’s the en suite for me

He’ll make me feel like I don’t exist

MEN:
Shh!

OLIVER:
To anyone but him

MEN:
To anyone but him

OLIVER:
And though, there’s nothing like a fella
Who saves you on his cell as ‘unknown caller’
And oh, there’s nothing like a guy
On whom you can rely
To not say a word when he’s overheard
All of his friends call you ‘fag’

I just want a man to hold me through the night
Then every morning text me

MEN:
Shhh!!!!
Don’t tell or a soul or else I’ll kill ya

OLIVER:
I just want a guy who says
I’m lying when I try to remind him
That we fucked, on our gap year in Brasilia

I just a man with whom I can go all the way
And when he’s done, he’ll say

(spoken)
‘Get the fuck off, I’m not gay’

NANCY:
And why do you think that’s what you’re pining for?

OLIVER:
Because it’s all I’ve ever known from boys before

NANCY:
So now you’re worried that’ll happen every time?

OLIVER:
Well, shit, that must be why I’m
Looking for a mister
Who pretends I don’t exist to
Anyone but

MEN:
Shhh!!!!

OLIVER:
Him!

OLIVER: (spoken)
Hey there, wanna meet me after?
I won’t tell anyone… not even your wife…
Who by the way looks lovely this evening!

NANCY: (spoken)
Okay, show’s over, Oliver, come on,
Just be straight with me for a second

OLIVER: (spoken)
That’ll be a first!

NANCY: (spoken)
Look, I don’t think the problem really is
That you don’t know what you’re looking for

OLIVER: (spoken)
You’re not wrong, doll face!

(sung)
Cause I want a man who insists I don’t exist…

NANCY: (spoken)
SHHH… UT UP!
That is not the issue, this actually is the issue…


Review: Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics

Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics

SYNOPSIS
Why Am I So Single? (Demo)
8 Dates
I Got Off the Plane
C U Never (Demo)
Shhh!!!!
Just In Case
Interlude into B Minor
Clubs Glorious Clubs
No Question
Disco Ball
Better Off Love Story