Broadway Musical Camelot the Musical - Then You May Take Me to the Fair Lyrics
Music by Ken Darby, Frederick Loewe Lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner
GUENEVERE (spoken) Sir Lionel! (sung) Do you recall the other night that I distinctly said you might Serve as my escort at the next town fair? Well, I'm afraid there's someone who I must invite in place of you Someone who plainly is beyond compare That Frenchman's power is more tremendous than I have e'er seen anywhere And when a man is that stupendous He, by right, should take me to the fair
SIR LIONEL (spoken) Your majesty, let me tilt with him and smite him! Don't refuse me so abruptly, I implore! Oh, give me the opportunity to fight him And Gaul will be divided once more!
GUENEVERE You'll bash and thrash him?
SIR LIONEL I'll smash and mash him.
GUENEVERE You'll give him trouble?
SIR LIONEL He will be rubble.
GUENEVERE A mighty whack?
SIR LIONEL His skull will crack.
GUENEVERE Well... (sung) Then you may take me to the fair If you do all the things you promise In fact, my heart would break should you not take me to the fair (spoken) Sir Sagramore! (sung) I have some rather painful news relative to the subject who's To be beside me at the next court ball You were the chosen one, I know, but as tradition it should go To the unquestioned champion in the hall And I'm convinced that splendid Frenchman can easily conquer one and all And besting all our local henchmen He should sit beside me at the ball
SIR SAGRAMORE (spoken) I beg of you, ma'am, withhold your invitation. I swear to you this challenge will be met. And when I have finished up the operation, I'll serve him to your highness en brochette!
GUENEVERE You'll pierce right through him?
SIR SAGRAMORE I'll barbecue him!
GUENEVERE A wicked thrust?
SIR SAGRAMORE 'Twill be dust to dust!
GUENEVERE From fore to aft?
SIR SAGRAMORE He'll feel a draft!
GUENEVERE Well then... (sung) You may sit by me at the ball If you demolish him in battle In fact, I know I'd cry were you not by me at the ball (spoken) Sir Dinadan! (sung) Didn't I promise that you may guide me to London on the day That I go up to judge the cattle show? As it is quite a nasty ride there must be someone at my side Who'll be defending me from beast and foe So when I choose whom I prefer go, I take the strongest knight I know And young du Lac seems strongest, ergo He should take me to the cattle show
SIR DINADAN (spoken) Your Majesty can't believe this blustering prattle- Let him prove it with a sword or lance instead! I promise you, when I've done this Gaul in battle His shoulders will be lonesome for his head!
GUENEVERE You'll disconnect him?
SIR DINADAN I'll vivisect him.
GUENEVERE You'll open-wide him?
SIR DINADAN I'll subdivide him.
GUENEVERE Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear. (sung) Then you may guide me to the show If you can carry out your program In fact, I'd grieve inside should you not guide me to the show
SIRS LIONEL, SAGRAMORE, DINADAN Milady, we shall put an end to that Galic bag of noise and nerve When we do all that we intend to He'll be a plate of French hors d'ouvres!
GUENEVERE I do applaud your noble goals Now let us see if you achieve them And if you do, then you will be the three who go to the ball, to the show And take me to the fair
[Thanks to Barbra Hoffman for correction]
Other Songs: Camelot the Musical Lyrics
Camelot the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS I Wonder What the King Is Doing Tonight The Simple Joys of Maidenhood Camelot Follow Me C'est Moi The Lusty Month of May Then You May Take Me to the Fair How to Handle a Woman Before I Gaze at You Again If Ever I Would Leave You The Seven Deadly Virtues What Do the Simple Folk Do? Fie on Goodness I Loved You Once in Silence Guenevere Finale (Camelot Reprise)
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