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2011 Broadway revival
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying the Musical - A Secretary Is Not A Toy Lyrics
The song is written by Frank Loesser.
BRATT
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy;
Not a toy to fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy.
No, a secretary is not,
Definitely not a toy.
3 MALES
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt!
We wouldn't have any other way, Mr. Bratt!
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt!
MALE ENSEMBLE
A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy,
not a toy.
So do not go jumping for joy,
MALE ENSEMBLE
Boy! A secretary is not...
A secretary is not,
A secretary is not ...a toy,
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy.
COMPANY
Be good to the girl you employ, boy;
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got,
A secretary is not ...a toy.
She's a highly specialized key
Component of operation unity...
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother at home
She supports.
FRUMP
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwartz!
SMITTY
A secretary is not a pet,
Nor an erector set.
FRUMP & SMITTY
It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy!
They fired him a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not... A toy!
COMPANY
(Whistling)
A secretary is not...A toy!
And when you put it to use,
Observe,
When you put her to use:
FRUMP
That you don't find the name Lionel
on her caboose!
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
A secretary is not a thing
One buy key, hold by string
Her pad...
Is to write in,
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy.
No!
COMPANY
The secretary you got,
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte,
Or you know what,
Before you jump for joy,
Remember this my boy,
A secretary is not,
A tinker toy!
Back to How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Lyrics
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
SYNOPSIS
How To Succeed
Happy To Keep His Dinner Warm
Coffee Break
Company Way
Company Way (Reprise)
A Secretary Is Not A Toy
Been A Long Day
Been A Long Day (Reprise)
Grand Old Ivy
Paris Original
Rosemary
Finale Act One
Cinderella, Darling
Love From A Heart of Gold
I Believe In You
I Believe In You (Reprise)
Brotherhood of Man
Finale
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