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Original Broadway Production (2011)
The Book of Mormon: the Musical - Making Things Up Again Lyrics
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
"I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS,
and everything... but there is an answer in Christ."
NABULUNGI:
You see? This book CAN help us!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
I just told a lie.
No, wait, I didn't LIE...
I just used my imagination...
And it worked!
CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER:
You're making things up again, Arnold
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
But it worked, dad!
CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER:
You're stretching the truth again,
And you know it-
JOSEPH SMITH:
Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Joseph Smith...?
SMITH AND FATHER:
Because a lie is a lie.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
It's not a lie!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:
You're making things up again, Arnold!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Oh, conscience!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:
You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold.
When you fib, there's a price.
MATTUMBO:
Ahh, this it bullshit!
The story I'VE been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin!
I'm gonna go and rape a baby!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
What?! Oh my-NO! You can't do that!!! NO!
MATTUMBO:
Why not?!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will!
MATTUMBO:
Says who?!
Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?!
Nowhere.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Uh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith:
"You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!"
LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?"
And the Lord said "If you lay with an infant, you shall....
Burn in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!"
MATTUMBO:
...really?
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Uh-uh... Uh-uh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith.
I shall give unto you... a FROG! And thus,
Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!
UGANDANS:
Ohhhhh!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD:
You're making things up again, Arnold.
You're recklessly warping
The words of Jesus!
HOBBITS:
You can't say what you want, Arnold!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Come on, Hobbits!
ALL:
You're digging yourself a deep hole!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
I'm making things up again...kind of.
But this time, it's helping
A dozen people!
It's nothing so bad, because this time,
I'm not committing a sin,
Just by making things up again, right?!
ALL:
NO!
NABULUNGI:
Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
What? What is it?
NABULUGI:
Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's clitoris!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Huh?!
GOTSWANA:
This is all very interesting,
But women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against God's will!
GOTSWANA:
How do you know?! Christ never said NOTHIN' 'bout no clitoris!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
...YES! YES HE DID!
In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's...clitoris.
But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn 'em into FROGS!
GOTSWANA:
Frogs?
ASMERET:
You mean like the frogs that got fucked by Joseph Smith?!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs!
For a clitoris is holy amongst ALL things, said he!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS:
You're making things up again, Arnold.
UGANDANS:
We're learning the truth!
CHORUS:
You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
UGANDANS:
The truth about God!
CHORUS:
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold.
When you fib, there's a price!
UGANDANS:
We're going to paradise!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Who would have thought
I had this magic touch?
Who'd've believe I could
Man up this much?
I'm talking, their listening,
My stories are glistening
I'm gonna save them all
With this stuff!
UGANDANS:
Ooooh- La
CHORUS:
You're making things up again, Arnold!
UGANDANS:
Elder Cunningham!
CHORUS:
You're making things up again, Arnold!
UGANDANS:
Holy prophet man!
CHORUS:
You're making things up again, Arnold!
UGANDANS:
Our savior!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
You're making things up again...
YODA:
Hmmm, up again making things you are-
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
...I know...
[Thanks to Maddie Cook for lyrics]
[Thanks to Adam Warren for corrections]
Read more The Book of Mormon Lyrics
Making Things Up Again Lyrics the Book of Mormon musical Lyrics
The Book of Mormon: the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
Hello!
Two By Two
You And Me (But Mostly Me)
Hasa Diga Eebowai
Turn It Off
I Am Here For You
All American Prophet
Sal Tlay Ka Siti
Man Up
Making Things Up Again
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream
I Believe
Baptize Me
I Am Africa
Joseph Smith American Moses
Tomorrow Is A Latter Day
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