Soho Cinders - I'm So Over Men Lyrics

2012 Off-West End
Soho Cinders the Musical - I'm So Over Men Lyrics

The song is written by George Stiles and Anthony Drewe.

CLODAGH (spoken)
I tell you,
I’m getting too old for this game.
Too many disappointments

DANA (spoken)
Maybe we should give ’em up altogether

DANA
I wish they’d invent a Nicorette patch
To help me give up men
Just slap it on
Your cravings are gone
But how would I fill my days then?
It’s always the wrong Mr. right
Who suddenly lands in my lap
They’re shits who pass in the night
Falling in love is crap
A load of old bull
Farewell to nights on the pull

I’m so over men
I don’t need a guy
And as for the sex
There’s always DIY
Some seem hot till the rumpy pump starts
Then they’re not worth the sum of their parts
Lie on your back
Try looking impressed
Fake it and scream
"Oh, you’re the best"
I’ve said it before
and I’ll say it again
I’m so over men

CLODAGH
I wish I could join an anonymous group
Rehab to give up men
Just say your name
Face up to the shame
Confess you’ve been shagging again
Then maybe I’ll find I have strengths
Away from the rages and rants
Of guys who don’t go to great lengths
Falling in love is pants
From now on it’s clear
I’ll have a solo career

I’m so over men
Bragging they’re top notch
Talking through their arse
Thinking with their crotch
How I dread each familiar sign
Farts in bed that I know are not mine
The toilet seat’s up
There’s pubes on the soap
As for romance – not a hope
I’ve said it before
and I’ll say it again I’m so over men

DANA
If they had a jab
I’d give it a stab
To make me immune to men

CLODAGH
Painless and quick
Just one little prick

DANA AND CLODAGH
Instead of the usual ten!
I’m so over men
’Specially when they’re pissed
Those who’ve turned us down
Don’t know what they’ve missed

CLODAGH
Act like ice
but then try not to melt

DANA
My advice,
try a chastity belt

CLODAGH
No football to watch
Fags in the sink
Y-fronts to wash –
I don’t think so

DANA
Cold pizza crusts
and beer cans to chuck
Do we miss them?

DANA AND CLODAGH
Do we, fuck!
I’ve said it before
and I’ll say it again
I’m so over men

DANA
No more pregnancy tests
No more need for precautions

CLODAGH
No more overnight guests
No more getting small portions

DANA
No more "I’m going bald"
No more love bites need hiding

CLODAGH
No more "my wife just called"
No more hands that need guiding

DANA AND CLODAGH
No more "can’t we be friends?"
No more "first meet my mother"
No more "here’s where it ends"
No more "made for each other
I’ve said it before
and I’ll say it again
I’m so over men

Soho Cinders the Musical Lyrics

SYNOPSIS
Old Compton Street
Wishing for the Normal
Spin
Gypsies of the Ether
I'm So Over Men
It's Hard to Tell
Old Compton Street (reprise)
You Shall Go to the Ball
Who's that Boy?
They Don't Make Glass Slippers
Spin (reprise)
The Tail that Wags the Dog
Let Him Go
Fifteen Minutes
Finale
Curtain Call