A Gentleman's Guide - Why Are All the D'Ysquith's Dying Lyrics

Broadway production (2013)
A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder the Musical - Why Are All the D'Ysquith's Dying Lyrics

MOURNERS:
Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying?
What grisly sort of plague is going round?
It seems with every day
A D'Ysquith slips away
And here we are assembled putting another one in the ground

It's frankly all been rather mystifying
Do forgive me if I scoff:
But is it not a trifle odd
How they've all gone off to God
Suddenly they're congregating underneath the sod

Oh, why are all the D'Ysquiths dying
What a tasteless way of showing off

Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying
It seems that all of London's shaken to the core
To lose one relative
One can certainly forgive
But how can you excuse losing two
Or three
Or four
Or seven

Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying
I've never seen such recklessness before
It's unnerving
It's not that they're not undeserving
I never liked them much I must confess

In fairness
You must admit, at least
It's a shame about the priest
I can't imagine missing someone less!

But, really
Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying
When truth to tell so many others should
Though
Privately it was said
They should all drop dead
No one thought
They ever really would

I happened to notice there wasn't a lot of crying
I even heard a snigger from the back
Oh, it really is a shame
How they start to feel the same
How many are there left to bury after what's-his-name?

I ask you

Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying
Whoever's next, I swear I won't come back
I'm utterly exhausted keeping track
And most of all, I'm sick of wearing black

[Thanks to Jemima for lyrics]
[Thanks to Mike L for corrections]

A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder the Musical Lyrics

SYNOPSIS
A Warning to the Audience
You're a D'Ysquith
I Don't Know What I'd Do
Foolish to Think
A Warning to Monty
I Don't Understand the Poor
Foolish to Think (Reprise)
Poison in My Pocket
Poor Monty
Better With a Man
Inside Out
Lady Hyacinth Abroad
The Last One You'd Expect
Why Are All the D'Ysquith's Dying
Sibella
I've Decided to Marry You
Final Warning
Poison in My Pocket (Reprise)
Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun
Stop! Wait! What?!
That Horrible Woman
Finale