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2000 London West End
The Witches of Eastwick the Musical - Darryl Van Horne Lyrics
The song is written by Dana P. Rowe and John Dempsey.
JANE (spoken): Did he just . . . ?
SUKIE (spoken): No.
ALEXANDRA (spoken): What the hell was that?
DARRYL:
You got a real fine town on your hands here.
You got a sky to blue to describe.
You got that whole new england-y thing going on,
And that weird presbyterian vibe.
Your only one piece short of the puzzle.
You need fun in your lives, i must say.
Got your backs to the wall
And your shorts in a ball.
Well folks, all of that changes today.
Get ready 'cause
Darryl van horne
Can get those girdles to loosen.
I'm telling ya
Darryl van horne
Can put some life in this crew.
Wherever there's
A town in need of some goosin'
Darryl's gonna see the deed through.
And furthermore
+TOWNSPEOPLE:
Darryl van horne . . .
DARRYL:
Has got his sights set on you.
BRENDA (spoken):
What exactly does that mean, Mr. Van horne . . . ?
DARRYL:
Whoo-whoo-whoo . . .
BRENDA (spoken):
You've got your sights set on . . .
(Magically goosed.) . . . Whooooo!?
DARRYL (spoken):
There's your first clue.
(In Alexandra's direction.) I'm gonna add some zing to the palette.
(In Sukie's direction.) And teach you words you wished that you knew.
(In Jane's direction.) I'm gonna wring a ditty or two from the piper;
(Directly to FELICIA.) The payment, I leave up to you.
(To everyone.)
You're in the goddamned hands of the master.
You'll all be art before this is done.
You're all ready to blow
With your jaws hanging low
And the show hasn't even begun.
Now heaven knows
+ TOWNSPEOPLE:
Darryl van horne . . .
DARRYL:
Can be a little bewild'rin'.
FELICIA:
To say the least . . .
ED:
Yes, it's all too absurd.
DARRYL:
Admittedly
+ TOWNSPEOPLE:
Darryl van horne . . .
DARRYL:
Can put on quite the display.
FELICIA:
The man's a beast.
GINA:
Yes, precisely the word.
DARRYL:
So whatcha say;
Come out and play with me children.
Life is more than rules to obey.
Consider it;
+ TOWNSPEOPLE:
Darryl van horne
DARRYL:
Is only one wish away.
DARRYL:
You can try to resist
TOWNSPEOPLE:
A ah-a ah
DARRYL:
But in time you'll be feeling it too.
TOWNSPEOPLE:
A ah-a ah
DARRYL:
Am I cause or effect?
TOWNSPEOPLE:
A ah-a ah
DARRYL:
Would you jump if i asked it of you?
TOWNSPEOPLE:
A ah-a ah
DARRYL:
Is it fate or free will?
TOWNSPEOPLE:
A ah-a ah
DARRYL:
Who determines the things that you do?
TOWNSPEOPLE:
A ah-a ah
DARRYL:
There's the door.
Take your cue
Dive on in
Step on through
+ TOWNSPEOPLE:
Step on in . . .
Step on up . . .
Step on through . . .
Ooh-ooh a a a a a a a a ah!!!
FELICIA (spoken): Mr. Van horne . . . ?
FELICIA:
It's said you're making plans
To clear the elms away,
Where the snow y egrets live;
The glory of our bay.
It's not that we would want
To make your life a living hell,
But that we would, sir,
Yes, that we will and well,
Perhaps the best thing you could do
Would be to sell.
Are we agreed?
Need I go on
Rip up the deed,
Mister van horne –
Think about the egrets.
What about the egrets?
DARRYL (spoken): Honey, t-u-f-f. Tuff.
FELICIA (spoken): Tough?
DARRYL (spoken): Titty.
FELICIA (spoken): But the natural order, mr. Van horne . . .
DARRYL (spoken): My property, my prerogative.
I’m here to stay. And just in case you
Hadn’t noticed, mrs. Gabriel;
I happen to be a big fan of shaking
Up the “natural order.” (to the crowd.) Hit it!
TOWNSPEOPLE:
Just leave it to
Darryl van horne
To make this party a party.
DARRYL:
Aren't you all glad he
Supplied your demand?
TOWNSPEOPLE:
I'm telling ya
Darryl van horne
Can make the fun start to brew.
DARRYL:
Have faith in daddy;
Salvation's at hand.
TOWNSPEOPLE:
Let's all of us
Cut loose and pour the bacardi,
Give those inner demons their due.
We're saddled with
Darryl van horne . . .
DARRYL:
How goddamn lucky for you.
TOWNSPEOPLE:
D-to-the-a
To-the-double-r-y-l.
DARRYL:
Yeah, say it again.
TOWNSPEOPLE:
D-to-the-a
To-the-double-r-y-l.
DARRYL:
Mmmm, now add my last name.
TOWNSPEOPLE:
D-to-the-a
To-the-double-r-y-l
Van h-o-r-n-e
DARRYL:
The man with the spell . . .
TOWNSPEOPLE:
D-to-the-a
To-the-double-r-y-l
Van h-o-r-n-e
DARRYL:
For r aising up hell . . .
TOWNSPEOPLE:
D-to-the-a
To-the-double-r-y-l
Van h-o-r-n . . .
+ DARRYL:
So why should it be
Darryl van horne
Is simply heaven to me?
DARRYL:
Fly little children, fly –
+ TOWNSPEOPLE:
Free!
Other Songs: The Witches of Eastwick the Musical
Darryl Van Horne Lyrics The Witches of Eastwick
The Witches of Eastwick the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
Eastwick Knows
Make Him Mine
Eastwick Knows (Reprise)
Darryl Van Horne
Waiting For The Music To Begin
Words, Words, Words
Your Wildest Dreams
Dirty Laundry
I Wish I May
Another Night At Darryl's
Dance With The Devil
Another Night At Darry's (Reprise)
Evil
Dirty Laundry (Reprise)
Waiting For The Music To Begin (Reprise)
Three Little Ladies
Darryl Van Horne (Reprise)
I Wish I May (Reprise)
The Glory Of Me
The Wedding
Act Two Finale
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