Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw Lyrics

Broadway
Caroline, or Change the Musical - Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw Lyrics

JACKIE:
It's a quarter!

JOE:
Mama ain't got no money.
Hey Mama! Where'd this money come from, you?

EMMIE:
Leaver her be! Don't get her going.

JACKIE:
But it's a?

EMMIE:
If she wanted to tell she'd of told you.
Know what happens to children who snoop?

JOE:
What?

EMMIE:
Once there was a boy who asked his mamma one
too many questions and he died. He died.

JOE:
Aw shut up.

EMMIE:
He did!

JACKIE:
For true?

EMMIE:
For true.
Once upon a time in a shack by the lake
Live a boy and his mama so broke they break.
Ugliest child that you ever saw,
Name Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw!

Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw!
Didn't have a penny.
No he didn't have any.
So he asked his ma,
Old Lady Coleslaw!
Ma, I'm broke and
Ma I'm glum!
And Glory hallelujah to Kingdom Come!
Ma reach in her pockets?

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE:
And she give him some!

EMMIE:
Look here Roosevelt, see here Ro!
I got a penny!

JACKIE AND JOE:
No, mama, no!

EMMIE:
I got a nickel.

JACKIE AND JOE:
Won't buy a pickle!
That's no go, you way too slow!

EMMIE:
I got a dime.

JACKIE AND JOE:
Now that's a crime!

EMMIE:
How bout a quarter?

JACKIE AND JOE:
Well that's a starter?

EMMIE:
I got two!

JACKIE AND JOE:
Mama, I love you!

EMMIE:
Got three quarters to be spent!

JACKIE AND JOE:
Pretty mama Coleslaw! Seventy-five cent!

NOAH:
Caroline shows each silver quarter to her kids?
She's a divorcee!
Thank God we can eat now
Thanks to poor crazy Noah,
Who's just a stoopnagle
Can't hang on to a quarter!
But at least now at supper they talk about me.

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE:
Sweet old missus Coleslaw,
She say Roosevelt Roosevelt have you a time,
Spend a little money at the five and dime!

JACKIE AND JOE:
But Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw,
He born dumb, he say
Mama oh mama where this change come from?
Mama oh mama where this change come from?

EMMIE:
Mama went wild,
I earnt it child!

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE:
Then she wacked him and she smacked him upside his head,
But she hit too hard and the child dropped dead!

JACKIE:
And he sprouted wings and he flew up to heaven,
And heaven look like the 7-11!

JOE:
And all the stars of heaven they was pennies and dimes:

EMMIE:
Red hot!

JACKIE:
Sweet tart!

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE:
Lemons and Limes!

EMMIE:
Moon pie, food dye, tootsie pop

JACKIE AND JOE:
Pop gun, squirt gun, sticky bun,
Silly putty, nutty-butter, sixty-four colors
In the crayola pack pack pack!

EMMIE:
Bird call, slap paddle,
Tinkywinks, skip rope,
Licorice, pickup sticks

JACKIE AND JOE:
Magic tricks, lego bricks, pirate hooks, and comic books!

JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH:
Comic books!

JACKIE:
Superman

JOE:
Batman

JACKIE:
Aquaman

JOE:
And Ironman

JACKIE AND JOE:
Spiderman, X-Men, Daredevil, Doctor Strange and

EMMIE:
Wonder Woman! Diana!

EMMIE AND NOAH:
Princess of the Amazons!
Magical lariat, golden tiara,
Bulletproof bracelets, lipstick and mascara!

JOE:
Stronger than anyone, six times as pretty;
An eagle brassiere with a wing on each titty!

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH:
Wing on each titty!
Wing on each titty!
Titty titty titty titty titty titty titty titty!

NOAH:
They talk about how my mama died
They talk about my tragedy
They wish that they could take me in
And I could live with Caroline
And Emmie Jackie Larry Joe,
Emmie Jackie Larry Joe.
Each evening I could up and go
Home to be a Thibodeaux.
Emmie Jackie Larry Joe and Noah
Noah Thibodeaux.

EMMIE JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH:
Oh, she did it, she did it,
She kill her kid!
Oh mama, oh mama, see what you did!
R.I.P.!

EMMIE:
She found him dead, his mean old ma,
She screamed 'Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw!
Oh my child, my darling son,
Your time on earth is gone and done,
And you are lost and gone before!'

JACKIE:
But Roosevelt, an angel now,
He bought out the store,
And he still got nickels and dimes galore!
His mama cry, 'He's gone too soon!'
But Roosevelt is sitting longside of the moon,
And he says 'Miss Moon, will you be my Mrs.?'

MOON:
I might, you sweet, but you gotta be rich!

JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH:
I'm rich, I'm rich, will you give me kisses?

MOON:
I will sweet pea, indeed I shall,
I'll be your love little looney gal!
Cause you are sweet and you are rich!

JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH:
So they went up to God and they got hitch!

MOON:
And I will wax and I will wane,
I'll turn your brain into green moon cheese,
I'll do every first thing that I please,
I'll be your honey and I'll spend all your money
But I'll shines o bright
I'll be your delight,
And I'll grow full and I'll grow fat
And you'll say to yourself:

JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH:
'Now how about that?!'
'How about that?!'

MOON:
And that's the last?

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON:
'That anyone saw
Of Roosevelt Petrucious Coleslaw!
He flap his wings and he flew away,
And said goodbye to heaven and to JFK,
And he's flying through space to this very day,
Counting all the stars in the Milky Way.
He counts so high he's a millionaire,
And he doesn't have a care.

CAROLINE:
And now every morning, day after day,
There's change in his pockets.
Quarters, pennies?
He's leavin' them there.
And I am mean,
And I am tough,
But thirty dollars ain't enough?
Thirty dollars?
Thirty dollars?

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON: (with Caroline above)
Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga!
Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga!
Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga!
Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga!
A penny, for Rosie and off he go!
A nickel, a quarter, he got some dough!
He rise in the skies and look down below, and say?

..I'm a gonna buy me
The Sky!
Didn't have a penny yeah but now I got plenty
so I say goodbye?
No mama don't cry!
If I'm broke!

CAROLINE:
Ain't right!

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON:
If I'm glum!

CAROLINE:
Ain't decent!

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON:
Glory hallelujah to Kingdom Come!

CAROLINE:
Change in his pockets just lyin there!

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON:
I reach in my pockets?.

CAROLINE:
I reach in his pockets?

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON, CAROLINE:
And I find me some!

CAROLINE:
For free?

EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON:
I'm free as the air?

CAROLINE:
As the air!

Caroline, or Change the Musical Lyrics

SYNOPSIS
16 Feet Beneath The Sea
The Radio
Laundry Quintet
Noah Down The Stairs
The Cigarette
Laundry Finish
The Dryer
I Got Four Kids
Caroline, There's Extra Food
There Is No God, Noah
Rose Stopnick Can Cook
Long Distance
Dotty and Caroline
Moon Change
Moon Trio
The Bus
That Can't Be
Noah and Rose
Inside / Outside
JFK
No One Waitin
Night Mamma
Gonna Pass Me A Law
Noah, Go To Sleep
Noah Has A Problem
Stuart and Noah
Quarter In The Bleach Cup
Caroline Takes My Money Home
Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
Santa Comin' Caroline
Little Reward
1943
Mr. Gellman's Shirt
Ooh Child
Rose Recovers
I Saw Three Ships
The Chanukah Party
Dotty and Emmie
Mr. Stopnick and Emmie
Kitchen Fight
A Twenty Dollar Bill and Why
I Hate The Bus
Moon, Emmie and Stuart Trio
The Twenty Dollar Bill
Caroline and Noah FIght
Aftermath
Sunday Morning
Lot's Wife
Salty Teardrops
Why Does Our House Have A Basement?
Underwater
Epilogue